We have all heard the stories of faith written in the bible or someone’s memoir. As a matter of fact, almost every book about faith all have one thing in common; Hebrews chapter 11.” Now faith is the substance …blah blah blah. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of my most favorite chapters in the bible and I’m sure it’s there for a purpose, to uplift, to encourage etc. But what I have struggled the most with is; I want my own story of faith. I don’t want to read someone else’s experience. I appreciate the testimonies, but I NEED my own. Is that too much to ask God?

God says If I have faith as small as mustard seed then I can move mountains, and I feel as though there’s been instances of my faith being mustard seed-ish and the mountains are still there. Is it because I lack faith, or is it because Its not meant for me, is it because its not the right time yet. Its said spiritual things are spiritually discerned, so if they’re not answered, is it because of my lack of spirituality? I have so many questions and practically no answers.

I regress, there are answers. There have been times when I needed God to move on something in my life that was impossible and see it happen and be like wow……God you’re the real deal. So why is it that we struggle when we ask for something and don’t receive an immediate answer, a lot of times its because, well maybe we treat God like an ATM or a sugar daddy, or should I say we want a sugar daddy that don’t want any sugar. (for want if a better phrase) We want something without wanting to give up anything, and truth be told God doesn’t require that much, just our hearts, and he wants us to practice child-like faith.

My toddlers and even my teenagers at times are not aware of bills, and rent and wonder where their next meal is coming from, they just trust us to Know that we provide, even though we are up late at night thinking about how we will pay for college, medical bills or that unexpected expense that wasn’t budgeted. I mean they sleep like babies, literally. Maybe that’s exactly what God wants us to do when we ask for something, trust him to take care if it and go to bed and sleep like babies, believing that our father in heaven that knows what’s best for us will deliver.

If you ask a lot of us Christians, faith is probably the one thing that we struggle with the most. You know why? …. actually I don’t know why smh…me writing this is me trying to either figure it out or come to the conclusion that faith is exactly what the bible says it is. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”( Hebrews 11:1). Faith is believing in the impossible, that against all odds, you will get your expected result. While we are out here on this journey of faith. Lets not just ask God for the big things that are outside of our reach, let’s also trust him with the little things. Look for God even in the very mundane things in your life and once you start to see him in the little things, you will realize that God can handle the major things. Just the other night my husband and I were driving over the Tappan Zee bridge and we ended up talking about faith, mind you he hates bridges, planes, anything height related, yet still we fly, we still drive over the bridge because we realize we need to get to where we are going, and we also trust that this manmade machine was checked and the person who checked it was wide awake and in their right mind, like had all their faculties in tact, yet we give God so little credit to do the things we ask him to do. Faith is much like that, we trust god to keep us and to answer and we take the step of faith by moving towards where we want to go. Not knowing if we will make it over, or what lies at the other side of the bridge, yet driving over it anyway because we trust that it was made well.

I pray we all have an experience of faith. But make sure you trust him with the little things too. So that we don’t miss mall opportunities of God working because they’re so small we can’t see them.